Dear Baylor Girl,
I feel it’s time we had another conversation. After all, it’s only a month into the school year – there’s still time for you to take my words to heart. I’ll make a list so it’s easy for you to follow along … and if we’re honest here, it’s just easier for me to write.
1) I’m happy for you that you were able to get married and start having babies – all before you graduated from college. However, if you’re going to wear maternity booty shorts, at least wear a shirt long enough to cover the wide elastic waistband. Two words: not attractive.
2) Speaking of not attractive – just because they make skirts that are three inches long in your size doesn’t mean you should wear it. Putting leggings on underneath said skirt doesn’t help the situation. In fact, it only accentuates the fact that you shouldn’t be wearing that skirt in the first place. I’m just saying.
3) Please don’t say ‘like’ every other word. You’re in college. You have at least a basic knowledge of grammar. Like, it’s so like annoying. Like.
4) You have a huge backpack. What is the point of carrying your tiny little Coach/Louis Vuitton purse along with it? I’m betting that you can fit whatever is in that purse in your backpack. Besides, everyone already knows how much money you have by the Hummer/BMW/Lexus SUV your daddy bought you.
I hope this helps you to become a better person. I think each one of these is an extremely valid and helpful point. And hey, if you ever see me committing one of the aformentioned annoyances, feel free to comment.
You stay classy Baylor girls,