For all you lovers out there … a pick-up line for Valentine’s Day. Maybe my favorite one ever.
The Dater’s Bill of Rights February 11, 2008
One of my favorites is:
You have the right to leave at any point in the first 10 minutes.
It’s worth the 5-10 minutes it takes to read it. Let me know what you think!
Use the “D” word, Dammit! February 8, 2008
And no, dammit is not the word I’m referring to. It is, however, used quite often these days when discussing the word I’m referring to. What is this word? This ominous word that starts with a “d”?
These days the word “dating” seems to be as profane as the word “dammit,” and I’m not really sure why. Of course, that doesn’t stop me from hypothesizing possible reasons and discussing them at length with my equally confused girlfriends.
I have a friend who recently went through some fairly dramatic/traumatic boy trouble, which got me thinking about how men and women – especially those in their mid to late twenties and early thirties – interact with each other. I’ve come to the conclusion that most of us who aren’t married have seemed to digress back to 7th grade boy/girl etiquette … but I’m getting ahead of myself.
My friend (let’s call her Athena) and this guy (let’s call him Wolf) have been friends for a good while, which comes as no surprise considering they have very similar – and perhaps slightly odd – interests. Recently, particularly in the weeks leading up to the spring semester, Wolf started putting out some pretty strong signals that he was interested in Athena. I’m not talking vague signals, either. I’m talking hand on the small of the back, lingering eye contact, constant touching signals. Athena reciprocated those signals, and began to wonder when Wolf was finally going to ask her out. But he never did.
Instead, once school began Wolf seemingly dropped off the face of the earth and Athena was none-the-wiser as to why. It all culminated with Wolf giving Athena the cold shoulder at a group gathering, and treating her as though she were the last person on earth he wanted to be talking to at that moment. Ass. But I digress …
After Athena was ballsy enough to confront Wolf about this behavior, she came away with some interesting answers/observations. It turns out Wolf knew exactly what he was doing – he was using their friendship (inappropriately, I might add) to decide if he wanted to be in a relationship with Athena. When he decided that he didn’t, and that there was too much social pressure on him to ask her out, he closed up and treated her like trash.
Like I said, seventh grade.
Athena’s situation was the straw that broke the camel’s back in my patience with Christian men in my age bracket. WHY ARE THEY SO AFRAID TO USE THE WORD “DATE”?! Guess what, boys? It’s NOT a dirty word, women DON’T want to marry you the moment you look at them, and you are MISSING OUT on some of the most amazing women you’ll ever meet.
Our generation (in the Christian context) has lost sight of what dating is and what it could be. Because of books like “I Kissed Dating Goodbye,” “Boy Meets Girl,” and “Passion and Purity,” our generation seems to think that the only way to approach romantic relationships is with courtship, whatever the hell that is. We’ve lost dating – a time to get to know each other and have fun – and found books and fundamentalism. Awesome.
Yes, there is the potential for rejection. Yes, there will be heartache at some point. THAT’S LIFE. We have forgotten how to be vulnerable and really enjoy each other in the dating context. And it’s a damn shame.
To my married friends: Tell your husbands “thank you” from Lindsay that they had enough balls to ask you out on your first date.
To my single friends: I can start a support group if it’s needed. Let’s not give up hope!
Use the “D” word, dammit!